THE UNDERSCORE JAM #2: BIZARRE BIOS

_creative
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I want to try it!

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I would like to have a go, please :)

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Though DORNANT HERSTLE (pronounced ‘harsel’) works as a notary for the firm of Steed & Sons by day, he is also one of the eleven (for there are always eleven) members of the Arcanographic Institute of London, an exclusive fraternity dedicated to tending and growing the great library of esoteric knowledge on the city’s hidden corners and byways that is known to its members (and its members alone) as ‘The Missing Map’. For the moment, his appointed seat (for every member fills one) is that of the Listener. His job, then, is the collection and cataloguing of hearsay in the wash-houses, orphanages and ale-dens of the old city; any place that the populace might loosen their lips more than they properly intend. In this role, he is also expected to keep an eye open for promising candidates for each of the seats of the Institute, should the time come where a replacement Surveyor, Warder, or even Hierarch is urgently needed.
Though DORNANT HERSTLE (pronounced ‘harsel’) works as a notary for the firm of Steed & Sons by day, he is also one of the eleven (for there are always eleven) members of the Arcanographic Institute of London, an exclusive fraternity dedicated to tending and growing the great library of esoteric knowledge on the city’s hidden corners and byways that is known to its members (and its members alone) as ‘The Missing Map’. For the moment, his appointed seat (for every member fills one) is that of the Listener. His job, then, is the collection and cataloguing of hearsay in the wash-houses, orphanages and ale-dens of the old city; any place that the populace might loosen their lips more than they properly intend. In this role, he is also expected to keep an eye open for promising candidates for each of the seats of the Institute, should the time come where a replacement Surveyor, Warder, or even Hierarch is urgently needed.1920×1183 444 KB

7 Likes
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Hit me.

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Sign me the Fluff up! /j

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I think Ill give it a try!

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Name: Aeosyle Zerros
Age: 32 days
Location: 32.24317638005, -76.52596021233 (Virginia)

An electron microscope image of a freshwater ciliate, being ridden by a greenskinned cowboy, waving his hat over his head.
An electron microscope image of a freshwater ciliate, being ridden by a greenskinned cowboy, waving his hat over his head.883×776 141 KB

Howdy! My name is Aeosyle Zerros, that’s Zee Ee Arr Arr Oh Ess. I’m a Ciliate rancher, coming up on 15 days in the job, yes sirree. My pappy taught me 3 things; how to be respectful, how to be honest, and how to run a ciliate ranch. I got maybe another 7 days in the saddle before I hang up the old hat, plenty of time to bring my girls up and show them the ropes. Lil’ Hresorla, she’s damned near as good as me already, you better believe it.

Now I know that some o’ y’all seen ciliate so big you can barely see to the end of 'em. I heard tell that in Vermont way, they’s gots ciliates big as a millimetre, would you fathom that? Here, we don’t breed 'em for size, but for quality. Best damned ciliates this side of the Atlantic, I tell you what.

Best bit about about ciliates is they’re all over the place. I heard some of those big folks with cows and horses and whatnot, they have to contend with some improper individuals coming along and taking them, on account of not having any of their own and getting real desperate. Ciliates though, we’ve got plenty to go around, the value is all in the quality.

Lemme tell you what I like. I like bright sunlight, clean air, clear water, all that good nutrition. I like riding my ciliates, as you can see from my picture up there. I like a good old sing-song and a dance. I love my husband and kids, best damned family a guy could ask for.

So listen, y’all need a helping hand, you just holla, OK? Ride safe, y’all, yeehaw!

8 Likes
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Very much enjoying the submissions so far

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Ooh please send me a name this is so my kind of prompt

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It’s lovely seeing the names come to life!

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(Apologies for the micro text - the tall image dimensions don’t play nice with the post embed. Give it a click to read!)

A Tinder profile for Samarkand Loveday, Merchant Prince of Marsahj. The profile indicates that he is interested in "foot stuff".
A Tinder profile for Samarkand Loveday, Merchant Prince of Marsahj. The profile indicates that he is interested in "foot stuff".500×1249 226 KB

6 Likes
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Hahahaha! Love this!

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Hello!

I saw this on Bluesky and would like to join.

Thanks!

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This is the biography page of Willertine Bythistle, which is covered in yellow smiley faces. The biography reads as follows: "Willertine was born a few miles east of cosmetics during a 50% off sale on blankets and exercise equipment. Not much is known about their life for a while. When they were three years old, they walked into the hardware aisle alone and got lost, then cried. They wandered to the clothes aisle in tears and begged the employee manning the changing booths to search for their parents on the intercom, but they couldn't speak yet, so nothing happened. They don't remember how they got home that day. They think they probably died that day and that all this has been a dream." Much of the information about them is obscured by smiley faces.
This is the biography page of Willertine Bythistle, which is covered in yellow smiley faces. The biography reads as follows: "Willertine was born a few miles east of cosmetics during a 50% off sale on blankets and exercise equipment. Not much is known about their life for a while. When they were three years old, they walked into the hardware aisle alone and got lost, then cried. They wandered to the clothes aisle in tears and begged the employee manning the changing booths to search for their parents on the intercom, but they couldn't speak yet, so nothing happened. They don't remember how they got home that day. They think they probably died that day and that all this has been a dream." Much of the information about them is obscured by smiley faces.3200×2200 226 KB

My submission - Willertine Bythistle

5 Likes
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Count me in please! :D

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This seems like a fun challenge.

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Reminder folks that while the deadline is Monday afteroon central European time, there’s nobody stopping me from still adding your submission to the results thread later.

I’m only gonna get started on mine this weekend.

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fashionably late, reporting for duty

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Name: Astron of the Black Step
Location: 3rd step
Age: grown
Occupation: spinner
Shoeing life list highlights: period-accurate nine-inch goth platform boots; working heelys; rare leopard-print crocs
Friends: Casper of the Black Step; Wilma of the Payphone; August of the Afternoon Breeze

*** NOT LOOKING TO MAKE AN EGG SACK WITH YOU!!! WEBMAKERS’ CORNER IS NOT A DATING SITE!!! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED AND REPORTED AND CURSED BY MAGIC!!! ***

What’s catching! I’m mostly here to swap efficient webmaking techniques for high-traffic areas. I typically spin a corner web on warm black tile overnight, and then shoe watch in my crevice during the day. They keep demolishing my webs with their damn leaf blowers every morning. Message me if you have dealt with similar. Thanks August for the super clear and beautiful webmaking pics you’ve probably seen on my posts.

Closeup of some black steps that have a spiderweb in the corner. Roughly drawn using my phone’s built-in screenshot annotation.
Closeup of some black steps that have a spiderweb in the corner. Roughly drawn using my phone’s built-in screenshot annotation.960×961 66 KB

5 Likes
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I’d like to have a go too :slight_smile: